Good thing us Floridians are tough, resiliant, and have a sense of humor. All sorts of jokes, photo's and things have been going around about the state where we can't count votes, and attract so many storms.
I received the following from a friend, It's a HURRICANE QUIZ :
Editor's Note: In preparation for hurricane season, I have put together a quick little quiz for people on the West Coast (most notably California) who may be visiting a southernstate. (No, Arizona is not a southern state) . .
.1. How are hurricane's names selected?
a. Named after Congressmen who are full of hot air
b. Names of spouses are submitted by divorced people
c. Page 824 in Miami's phone book
d. Hurricanes don't care what you call them
2. What do they call the most severe hurricane?
a. Category 5
b. Red Alertc. Costlyd. OHHHHH MYYYYY . . .
3. If a hurricane Guido with wind speeds of 104 MPH leaves theNorthwest African coast on Wednesday at 7:04 AM and is traveling Westat 16 MPH and hurricane Isabel with wind speeds of 93 MPH leaves KeyWest at 24 MPH on Thursday at 11:32 AM, when would they meet?
a. Tuesday at 3:18 PM, but their luggage would be in Paris
b. Never, Isabel doesn't want to have anything to do with ablowhard like Guido
c. Never, Guido said that there's no place for Isabel to stopand ask directions; she'll probably end up in Rio
d. Trick question - hurricanes don't depart from Key West
4. You're flying in a small, single engine plane. You look up and seea hurricane directly ahead. What's the first thing you think?
a. It's got the right of way! It's got the right of way!
b. This is the last time I fly no-frills.
c. I can't believe she's going to get EVERYTHING now!
d. I gotta change my shorts!
5. A hurricane is dangerous if . . .
a. You get in its way
b. it's had a REALLY bad day
c. you try to stop it to ask directions
d. you do not yield right of way
6. How do forecasters know a hurricane is coming?
a. Hurricanes ALWAYS leave a forwarding address
b. They have REALLY good binoculars
c. Hurricanes LOVE the beach
d. They send out a bunch of small boats and plot the sinkings
7. How can you protect your house in the event of a hurricane?
a. Sell it - QUICK
b. Bury it and dig it up later
c. Cover it with leaves and pretend it's a big bush
d. Duct tape
8. What is the first thing you should do if a hurricane is confirmedto be heading in your direction?
a. Check your supplies for the big hurricane party
b. Air drop a roadmap into the eye, of another area
c. Put out all your trash for immediate air disposal
d. Begin drawing plans for the new house you will soon be building
9. What should you NOT do if a hurricane is coming?
a. Begin those remodeling plans you've been putting off
b. Put the cat or dog out (unless on a LONG leash)
c. Cancel your homeowner's insurance
d. Go on a picnic, to the beach.
10. When is it a good time to evacuate your home?
a. When the water level reaches the roof
b. When your in-ground swimming pool becomes airborne
c. Shortly after your roof is declared a UFO
d. When people ask how you constructed a home without outer walls
11. Where should you evacuate?
a. A nearby lowland to wait out the floods
b. A tall location, like on top of a radio tower or Florida'smountains
c. Anywhere that has a happy hour and free munchies
d. Out to sea on a small craft
12. Why should you not stay close to the beach
a. All the best spots are probably taken
b. Track in too much sand
c. Cooler keeps blowing away
d. Hard to stay put under the 50' waves
13. If the eye of the hurricane passes overhead, you should not . . .
a. stare; it's impolite
b. make direct eye contact
c. offer it some Visine
d. ask if it's seen Dorothy and Toto
14. What happens after the eye passes?
a. Stay very still; maybe it didn't see you
b. It can't see you any more
c. You can expect the nose, followed by the mouth, etc.
d. It winks and waves good-bye
15. What should you do first after a hurricane passes?
a. Locate your computer
b. Determine if your computer is operational
c. Contact your insurance agent about replacing your computer
d. See if your spouse, kids and pets are around; get back to your computer
16. Who should you turn to if you need help after a hurricane?
a. Local government (also blown away)
b. State government (can't afford to help)
c. Federal government (doesn't care)
d. Foreign governments (the Japanese are looking for investments)
17. What happens a year after you're hit by a hurricane?
a. Still looking for pieces of your house
b. Still looking for pieces of your computer
c. Still looking for pieces of yourself
d. The government sees you've started rebuilding; concludes you need no emergency help.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Saturday, October 02, 2004
The Next Month
Boy how things change. Storms have passed and I've finally ventured out to check round and fortunatley found most of my area intact. Driving across north Tampa, most of our power has been restored, you see signs down, broken trees, and debree but nothing really MAJORLY bad like our poor friends to the south and north. I know there are many areas around here that have been flooded and I feel bad for them. Comparied to the other parts of our state I feel truly blessed.
Now.. 2 storms Frances and Jeanne passed directly over us. What a difference though.
With Frances we had company and we all sort or were glued to the tv and really focused on the storm.
Frances also was noisy and LONG...days long and the winds howled. The news only gave info mostly effecting our area so our company didn't know what was going on in their area about 70 miles away.
With Jeanne we had only myself and my father in law. Our other friends decided to stay home and watch from there. With Jeanne also, the week before I found an EXCEPTIONAL new product line to add to my business and I was totally engrossed in showing the product to as many as I could because in the back of my mind I knew if I lost power, It may be weeks before I could share so I spent the entire day on the phones and online, so didn't pay as much attention to the storm other than to see the winds and rain out my office window.
FORTUNATELY, I did not lose power OR cable OR phones, so I got to stay online and on the phone the entire day. I found my mental state much better than being focused so much on tragedies and the scary storm also those I showed my new tool to were EXCITED and blown away that something so simple, could be so powerful and help them in their business.
Should you have a business or want to use a tool that will make your life much easier, feel free to write me or go to my own site at http://mlmblonde.com/contact and fill in your information and tell me you want me to demo this new product to you. It will take 5 minutes of your time and I can guarantee it, if you see this and use it, it will DEFINITELY improve your customer renention and referrals for you no matter WHAT you do. It's too cool. (just put a note on the form that you want me to show you the demo, so I will know )
ANYWAY back to the hurricanes, people are sending all sorts of funny jokes, one of them I saw our state moved up to ND, another I saw a big cloud over our entire state with a note as to us being under it, I've seen our state renamed to the Plywood state, another graphic with our state under sheets of plywood.
Today someone sent me the following ways to KNOW if you are a TRUE Floridian which I will post here:
At least they still have a sense of humor!!!YOU MIGHT BE A FLORIDIAN IF..........
You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
The freezer in your garage is full of homemade ice.
You flinch when you are introduced to a person named Charley, Frances, Ivanor Jeanne.
You find yourself dropping words like "millibar", "convection","hunkerdown", "eye wall" into everyday conversation.
Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os.
Making coffee on your propane grill does not seem like an odd thing to do.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering yourwindows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has threebedrooms, two baths and one safe place.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $2 for a gallon of unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You have the number for FEMA on your speed dialer.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the leastbit guilty about it.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemblea portable generator by candlelight.
You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowners insurancepolicy.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at theWeather Channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You never have more than $20 worth of meat, and frozen foods in your refrigerator at any given time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The jokes are sort of sad but true. It's a good thing we Floridians have a good sense of humor. After all, we can't vote right, as we can't punch those little "chads" . So they gave us electronic machines, with computers that can't count. We messed up the last 2 nationwide elections down here, and now we've weathered the past 4 direct hits from hurricanes.
We're weathered but TOUGH. So back to the drawing board, I've got lots more demos to do to help others before I hear the NEXT one is headed this way. Last time I turned on the TV, Lisa was going away and I have not heard further if Mathew is coming along, but this weekend it's a beautiful mild and sunny day out, with light breezes.
Unfortunately I WISH we would get a little stronger breeze to knock down the broken branches way up in the oak tree that are hanging by just a thread. Can't put my car in the one driveway safely till we get those down, and of course we are on the WAITING list for at least a dozen tree companies. Unless your tree split your house in half, you are NOT a priority in hiring tree labor in Florida....so we have to wait till our # comes up or the branches up there get SHOOK down as they need a buckt truck to get to where they are.
On a positive note, at least we have a new mail box and the debree from Jeanne has already been picked up. That a good thing.
The other funny thing that happened in my city, is our BRILLIANT city manager decided to "COMMUNICATE" with our community daily to let us know what's happening in cleaning up the messes. Well our city was NOT hit all that hard. I happen to be on the crime watch with a neighbor. The CITY voted without telling us, that the crime watch people can be COMMAND central for their neighborhood. Well that SOUNDS good, but what it really means is they drop off 200 PLUS copies of what's happening for us to walk around to EVERY house in the subdivison, which is 4 streets each 3 blocks long and 2 side streets, a task that would take 1-2 hours a DAY.
They wanted us to deliver these DAILY like you get a newspaper (do I look like newspaper delivery???) LOL
It would be one thing if our neighborhood was devastated and no one had power and we all needed the information quickly, but instead it looked like repeated information each day.
Things like THIS: (My commenst follow in brackets)
1 We do NOT have to Boil our water. (HMMMM ok so what's new. I would think I would NEED to know if I HAD to boil my water Not the other way around. SO what if I didn't know and boiled it anyway...nothing lost)
2. IF you have damage, you need to make temporary repairs till the adjuster comes (DUH like who would not cover a hole in the roof?)
3. School is closed on Monday ( HMMM why did I need to know that on WED)
4. For those without power, they are working on restoring it. You will see trucks in your neighborhood when they are working on yours (DUH)
Anyway you get the IDEA. Our brilliant city manager in an effort to communicate decides we should all run around the neighborhood giving these sheets out daily (and who paid for all the paper and copies....taxpayers). NICE GESTURE but not too much thought in it. When I called and mentioned I thought it was a LOT to ask people to run around for 2 hours every night delivering information that is outdated before they get it. They told us WELL we have one watch that an 87 year old lady delivered over 200 by herself.
GEES I was thinking, that's NUTS. I guess when you're 87 you probably have a lot of time, or one of those carts to ride around in. I don't have an extra 2 hours a day to deliver one sheet of paper to hundreds.
Back to the drawing boards.
Now.. 2 storms Frances and Jeanne passed directly over us. What a difference though.
With Frances we had company and we all sort or were glued to the tv and really focused on the storm.
Frances also was noisy and LONG...days long and the winds howled. The news only gave info mostly effecting our area so our company didn't know what was going on in their area about 70 miles away.
With Jeanne we had only myself and my father in law. Our other friends decided to stay home and watch from there. With Jeanne also, the week before I found an EXCEPTIONAL new product line to add to my business and I was totally engrossed in showing the product to as many as I could because in the back of my mind I knew if I lost power, It may be weeks before I could share so I spent the entire day on the phones and online, so didn't pay as much attention to the storm other than to see the winds and rain out my office window.
FORTUNATELY, I did not lose power OR cable OR phones, so I got to stay online and on the phone the entire day. I found my mental state much better than being focused so much on tragedies and the scary storm also those I showed my new tool to were EXCITED and blown away that something so simple, could be so powerful and help them in their business.
Should you have a business or want to use a tool that will make your life much easier, feel free to write me or go to my own site at http://mlmblonde.com/contact and fill in your information and tell me you want me to demo this new product to you. It will take 5 minutes of your time and I can guarantee it, if you see this and use it, it will DEFINITELY improve your customer renention and referrals for you no matter WHAT you do. It's too cool. (just put a note on the form that you want me to show you the demo, so I will know )
ANYWAY back to the hurricanes, people are sending all sorts of funny jokes, one of them I saw our state moved up to ND, another I saw a big cloud over our entire state with a note as to us being under it, I've seen our state renamed to the Plywood state, another graphic with our state under sheets of plywood.
Today someone sent me the following ways to KNOW if you are a TRUE Floridian which I will post here:
At least they still have a sense of humor!!!YOU MIGHT BE A FLORIDIAN IF..........
You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
The freezer in your garage is full of homemade ice.
You flinch when you are introduced to a person named Charley, Frances, Ivanor Jeanne.
You find yourself dropping words like "millibar", "convection","hunkerdown", "eye wall" into everyday conversation.
Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os.
Making coffee on your propane grill does not seem like an odd thing to do.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering yourwindows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has threebedrooms, two baths and one safe place.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $2 for a gallon of unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You have the number for FEMA on your speed dialer.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the leastbit guilty about it.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemblea portable generator by candlelight.
You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowners insurancepolicy.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at theWeather Channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You never have more than $20 worth of meat, and frozen foods in your refrigerator at any given time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The jokes are sort of sad but true. It's a good thing we Floridians have a good sense of humor. After all, we can't vote right, as we can't punch those little "chads" . So they gave us electronic machines, with computers that can't count. We messed up the last 2 nationwide elections down here, and now we've weathered the past 4 direct hits from hurricanes.
We're weathered but TOUGH. So back to the drawing board, I've got lots more demos to do to help others before I hear the NEXT one is headed this way. Last time I turned on the TV, Lisa was going away and I have not heard further if Mathew is coming along, but this weekend it's a beautiful mild and sunny day out, with light breezes.
Unfortunately I WISH we would get a little stronger breeze to knock down the broken branches way up in the oak tree that are hanging by just a thread. Can't put my car in the one driveway safely till we get those down, and of course we are on the WAITING list for at least a dozen tree companies. Unless your tree split your house in half, you are NOT a priority in hiring tree labor in Florida....so we have to wait till our # comes up or the branches up there get SHOOK down as they need a buckt truck to get to where they are.
On a positive note, at least we have a new mail box and the debree from Jeanne has already been picked up. That a good thing.
The other funny thing that happened in my city, is our BRILLIANT city manager decided to "COMMUNICATE" with our community daily to let us know what's happening in cleaning up the messes. Well our city was NOT hit all that hard. I happen to be on the crime watch with a neighbor. The CITY voted without telling us, that the crime watch people can be COMMAND central for their neighborhood. Well that SOUNDS good, but what it really means is they drop off 200 PLUS copies of what's happening for us to walk around to EVERY house in the subdivison, which is 4 streets each 3 blocks long and 2 side streets, a task that would take 1-2 hours a DAY.
They wanted us to deliver these DAILY like you get a newspaper (do I look like newspaper delivery???) LOL
It would be one thing if our neighborhood was devastated and no one had power and we all needed the information quickly, but instead it looked like repeated information each day.
Things like THIS: (My commenst follow in brackets)
1 We do NOT have to Boil our water. (HMMMM ok so what's new. I would think I would NEED to know if I HAD to boil my water Not the other way around. SO what if I didn't know and boiled it anyway...nothing lost)
2. IF you have damage, you need to make temporary repairs till the adjuster comes (DUH like who would not cover a hole in the roof?)
3. School is closed on Monday ( HMMM why did I need to know that on WED)
4. For those without power, they are working on restoring it. You will see trucks in your neighborhood when they are working on yours (DUH)
Anyway you get the IDEA. Our brilliant city manager in an effort to communicate decides we should all run around the neighborhood giving these sheets out daily (and who paid for all the paper and copies....taxpayers). NICE GESTURE but not too much thought in it. When I called and mentioned I thought it was a LOT to ask people to run around for 2 hours every night delivering information that is outdated before they get it. They told us WELL we have one watch that an 87 year old lady delivered over 200 by herself.
GEES I was thinking, that's NUTS. I guess when you're 87 you probably have a lot of time, or one of those carts to ride around in. I don't have an extra 2 hours a day to deliver one sheet of paper to hundreds.
Back to the drawing boards.
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